


Tom Hiddleston is not good for you.

by littlemissdeath



Category: Thor (Movies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: ABDL, Bed-Wetting, F/M, Frottage, Infactuation, Infantilism, Loki is a nice guy, M/M, Mental Instability, Mind Control, Past Rape/Non-con, Piss, Rape/Non-con Elements, Stalking, Tom is not nice, Tom wants forgiveness, Voyeurism, Watersports, defilment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:35:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8168651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissdeath/pseuds/littlemissdeath
Summary: This story is not true, unfortunately he didn’t win his Emmy, but in my story he did. And you were there to meet him at the after party….Tom/OFC [Reader], Loki/Tom, Loki/OFC, Rape non-con, Loki is trying to help, infatuation, voyeurism, watersports, piss, wetting, defilement, frottage,





	

Tom was suitably wasted. If his award could hold a fluid he would drink out of it. So he resorted to using some random unattended drink. He didn’t know how much he drunk or what in particular he was drinking. He was just happy. He danced up a storm and was happy and taking bulk selfies. He never felt so good. Arms around various people, some famous, some he suspected were fans that managed get into the afterparty.

Tom really didn’t care at this point. He was about to grab another drink when he spotted a shy girl in the back, taking photos with her SLR camera. She looked like a reporter. Tom was in a weird mood and was keen to let everyone know he was a finally recognised for his work. He figured she was a reporter and as she wasn’t using her phone to take pictures she would probably take a good photo of him, put him in a better light than his drunken selfies.

He didn’t pay any attention to the man whispering in her ear. He was no one he knew. Or so he thought.

Loki was in a glamor. He looked like any non-descript mortal in a suit. He leaned down and whispered to her. “The attraction spell is working. But I can’t influence free will. If he doesn’t want to be with you he will walk away.”

“Ok.” she turned her head slightly to Loki. “I’m prepared for him rejecting me. I know I’m not a model or some big busted bimbo.” She turned her gaze back to Tom slowly swaying over.

Loki sighed. “Look doesn’t put yourself down. I’m going to help you. I thought your request was quite a meagre repayment of my debt. Most people ask for money and power and other things they could earn themselves, if they tried.”

“Ok, ok. Loki just stand back, I don’t want Tom to see you. I know it’s our natural instincts that have to make it work. Just let me give it a try. Hey if I get a kiss out of him, it’s all worth it!” She turned and Loki had disappeared. She smiled. It was a surprise to her that he would even give her a favour. She thought him to be arrogant and would not even thank her. But to her surprise, Loki was actually grateful. He said he could grant her anything she wanted, kind of like a wish.

She could only think of one thing, the chance to meet Tom in person. With no other fans around and him wanting to talk to her. Loki easily conjured up an all access pass and a charm that no one would question her presence around the award ceremony.

She had waited till after the ceremony and went straight to the after party where Loki said he found Tom. The god was just like he appeared in the movies, but a bit thinner and taller, albeit by a centimetre or two than Tom. He was so hansom in his golden and green armour. When he removed his horned helmet, his short black hair was slick and nicely groomed, no helmet head messing his hair.

Tom picked up a drink and grabbed another, seemingly for her, but he seemed to drink it before he got to her. He pulled his Emmy from under his armpit and held it up to cheers from those around him. Hugh Laurie hugged him and Tom took a selfie. She saw him approach, she really loved him and was excited that she might get a good picture of him.

* * *

 

Tom’s POV

Let me look at this picture on my phone. He he he, Hugh is so funny. He didn’t even notice I was holding my fingers up behind his head. He was so happy for me. I hope I get to work with him again.

Who is this woman with the camera. She looks like a reporter. I need to get some nice shots. There is something about her. Tom put his statue down and fixed his dress. He looked into a mirrored column and brushed his hair back with his hands. 

He composed himself and walk over to her.

“Hi, did you see this?” Tom held up his trophy. He then though, ‘well that sounded better in my head’.

“Yes, for the Night-manager, it’s about time you got recognised.” she sort of blushed then raised up her camera. Snapping a nice pic of him looking down at his statue with a satisfied smile.

“Did you want a drink?”

“No I’m fine Mr. Hiddleston.” she smiled. Tom nodded. 

‘I can’t put my finger on it.’ Tom thought to himself. ‘She is not that attractive, she seems like a fan, but her credentials say otherwise. He raised his eyebrow as they were the same ones that only the elite staff had. May be she was the daughter of some billionaire executive. It would explain why such a plain looking girl was able to be at an afterparty for cast and some crew only.

Tom looked down and found he was not focused on her face, but her breasts. Her red silk dress was not plunging but did seem to have a shape that drew his attention to them. He swallowed and she then spoke.

“Um, could I trouble you for some pictures?” she directed him to a more secluded part of the room. Tom followed. It was more quiet here. The music was still booming in the room, but at least here he could hear himself think.

“So how do you want me?” Tom slyly suggested. His thoughts turned to his myriad of fan requests to take his shirt off. Tom was feeling kind of frisky for some reason. He didn’t realise that Loki’s spell had made him feel a bit more receptive to her.

He sat one leg up on the table and held his statue, resting it on his thigh. Subconsciously directing her gaze to his groin. She glanced down and could tell he was dressed to the right and his pants did little to hide his size. Tom snickered as he caught her eyes drop.

He shifted slightly, deliberately reinforcing her gaze. 

“Mr. Hiddleston, um can you turn slightly to your right?” she stood close and placed her hand on his shoulder. He raised his arm slightly and placed his hand on her waist and drew her close. She didn’t know what was going on, but was happy just the same. 

“You don’t need to be so formal.” he was close now. Tom glanced over to see the party was out of sight. They were alone. 

____-

Saga’s POV

Crap I just called him Mr. Hiddleston. Ok, just run with it. I will try to get some nice pictures. This is soo kewl! I wonder if Loki is watching? He looks good, posing like that. Oh my! Did I just crotch watch him? Fuck, make eye contact! I will hold up my camera to block my vision. “Mr. Hiddleston, um can you turn slightly to your right?”

I will just move his shoulder back for a better shot. I can’t believe I’m touching him! He’s so muscly. More than Loki. But Loki is quite nice too. At least Loki likes to be affectionate, despite him not really interested in women. He wasn’t mean about it to me, but I knew he didn’t mind spying on Tom for me. In fact I think he spent time wanking over him as he had a distinctive after glow.

“You don’t need to be so formal.” Tom spoke. Holy crap he’s touching my waist and now sooo close! I can feel his breath. Gosh he smells drunk, but he’s still nice. His lips are so close. Should I try kiss him? He’s drunk, would he know? Would he pull away?”

 

Tom’s POV

 Fuck it. I must be into this moment. Is it the booze? The high I am on from winning? I don’t know there is something going on. She doesn’t look drunk. I wonder if she is on drugs? I think I need to get her drunk. Or will she do what I want willingly? Of course she would. I’m sure she is a fan.

 

Loki’s POV

These revels are ok, pretty tame to Asgard’s standards. I wonder where all the people fucking are? I really need a root. This realm is so boring. I wonder what Saga is up to? I can’t say I blame her choice, that Hiddleston chap is a bit of allright. I wonder if I can get him to dress up like he did when he played me? He he he, it would be like me getting one of my clones to suck my cock. Marvellous. I really have to get my spells to conjure apparitions that have a physical form. 

Hump! It would be so much easier to get a fuck whenever I need it. Oh, so she is getting close to him now. Ha! She is totally chucking out his bulge.. mmm, I wonder if I should tell her I have seen him naked? Totally worth watching him in the shower earlier. But I nearly broke my invisibility spell when I came. His hand on her waist. Hum, things are stepping up. I hope she realises I can’t control free will, if he doesn’t want to fuck her, he will ignore her.

Shit, he looks like he was going to kiss her then. I wonder if he is got second thoughts. I would like this to work for her. At least let her get a kiss Tom. 

Loki watched on, his hand was slipping down the front of his pants and beginning to fondle himself. He watched on and Tom sat with his hand on her waist not moving any closer. She was totally hot for him, but he didn’t seem to respond more than talking to her at this point.

Saga was almost holding her breath as Tom spoke. She didn’t even notice they were isolated from the party. Loki put up a ward spell to shield them both. He smiled and resumed staling the party for someone who could be suitable.

* * *

 

Tom put down his statue on the table and then placed his free hand on her leg. She slowly slid it up and raised up her dress. She froze in excitement. She felt like she was going to cum right now. This was so hot, she just needed for him to kiss her. He then grabbed her and shoved her face done on the table. He shoved up her dress and then pushed his hips against her.

Tom snarled as he bared his lower teeth and grabbed her hips. He grinded against her ass. His own erection straining in his pants. He leaned forward till his chest was on her back. He reached down and slid his palm with pressure between her legs and fingered her wet pussy through her panties.

She moaned softly and Tom took it as an invitation. He swiftly pulled down his zip and roughly pulled free his hard cock. He pulled aside her underwear with one hand and guided his cock with the other. She was so wet. She could feel him pull at her clothes. She placed her hands on the table to push up.

“Tom, wait.” she knew this wasn’t right. Something was defiantly not right.

“Tom? Shouldn’t you call me Mr. Hiddleston?” he kind of threatened. He pushed his hand into the centre of her back and forced her back down. He then forced himself straight in. she yelled out.

He took no notice, just that she was so tight. Just like a virgin. Tears flowed from her face as he began to thrust into her. He wasn’t hilt deep yet, but he was trying.

She felt him tear her. He was so big, and despite being wet for him, she was not sufficiently lubricated for this kind of onslaught. “Tom, please stop..” she whimpered.

He ignored her over the music from the party. “Fuck you’re tight!” He kept thrusting in time with the music. He pushed up off her as she stop resisting and held her hips. He pumped into her tight pussy relentlessly. He was getting deeper. She didn’t want this. Her image of him was shattering on each grunt, on each thrust, on each time he dug his fingers in and smiled through his grunts.

Tom was close to cumming. He increased his pace and his breathing as he felt the pressure build. He groaned loudly in her ear as he fell forward. “I’m coming!”

“No…” she moaned. She clenched her fists and closed her eyes tight as he thrust her dry. He emptied his load into her. He pulled out and wiped his spent cock on her dress and fixed his pants. Not noticing the blood. She stood back and she slowly pushed herself up and looked back in distress. He didn’t acknowledge her as he fixed his clothes, checking that he didn’t get any unwanted fluids on his nice suit.

She was shaking as she slowly pushed down her dress. Tears obscuring her vision. She picked up her camera and walked away from him slowly. Still crying and upset. Tom grabbed his award and headed back to the party.

Loki was dancing away. He was beginning to have a good time. He turned when he felt someone pass through his ward. He stopped dancing when he saw Tom. He was hopping with a spring in his step, then grabbed a drink from the meandering waiter.

Loki smiled and wondered where Saga was. He lowered his ward and went searching for her. He couldn’t see her. But he took a confirming deep breath. “Sex.” he whispered. He could tell. He smiled and looked around. “Saga! So you got more than a kiss eh?...” he stopped dead as he rounded a corner and found her cowering under a large staircase. He gasped and crawled in beside her.

He lifted his spell and reverted back to his normal form. “Saga?” Loki placed his hand on her knee and one around her shoulder. “Darling? What happened?”

She shook her head. Loki knew as he could now smell blood. He grew angry and was about to speak when she tearfully spoke. “Loki, I thought you said your spell wasn’t that strong? That he would just feel compelled to be near me!”

“It is.. I can’t stop free will.” Loki second guessed himself. Had his spell the power to push someone this far? To rape? “Saga… I’m sorry.” He then shook his head, no it couldn’t. then he had a realisation. If he couldn’t force free will, and Tom wanted to be with her. Then he wanted to rape her. He was always going to act that way. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh Loki, I thought he was such a good person! So kind and never thought he would rape me… I just thought he would maybe give me a kiss…. But he never did.” She sobbed and hugged Loki. He tried to comfort her, but was feeling increasingly guilty. He worried if his spell lowered his inhabitations so much that he would accept the idea as his own to rape her.

“I have to fix this.” Loki kissed her cheek.

“How? I have to go home in a couple of days, now I have to live with this.” she gestured to her groin. Loki placed his hand on her stomach then slowly held it a few centimetres over her crotch. He projected a healing spell and her tears and stinging pain were now gone. She looked down at Loki’s glowing hand then to his face. Her physical pain was gone.

“Well I hope this a start.” Loki then pulled her close to his chest in a firm hug. “Please don’t cry. I will get him back.”

“No Loki.” she pushed back and looked into his eyes. He was going to do something dangerous. “Please do not hurt him.”

“Don’t defend him. He is a rapist. You might not realise this, but I wasn’t always the powerful mage before you, I was bullied and I too know what it is like to be on the receiving end of a non-consensual union.” Loki stopped, he didn’t realise he would ever tell anyone that. Other than the man who used to abuse him, until Loki killed him that is, no one else knew that he was raped.

She looked up at him in surprise. “Loki I know out are a good man, but please don’t hurt Tom. I do still love him.” She took his hands in hers and kissed the back of his hand. “Please don’t do any rash.”

“Ok, Look I have an idea. What if I get into his dreams tonight and guilt him? I will let him know what he has done to you and give him a taste of his own medicine.” Loki brushed her cheek to wipe away her tears.

 

Loki’s POV

Shit, shit shit. Did I make him rape her? I can’t believe my magic would be that strong? I have to make it up to her. I need to find a way of deal with this. I could so easily kill him. But I know I couldn’t get away with that in this realm, maybe I could put some ice on the road and he conveniently had an accident. Yeah.” I have to fix this.”

“How? I have to go home in a couple of days, now I have to live with this.” 

She is looking down at her.. oh my.. I can smell blood. Shit. He really hurt her. I will have to heal that. Her physical pain should be gone. As to what he did to her mind.. crap. That’s going to be tricky.

“Well I hope this a start.” She is letting me hug her. I know I hated to be touched after I was… maybe she doesn’t see me as a threat. Like how mother would comfort me. “Please don’t cry. I will get him back.”

“No Loki. Please do not hurt him.”

“Don’t defend him. He is a rapist. You might not realise this, but I wasn’t always the powerful mage before you, I was bullied and I too know what it is like to be on the receiving end of a non-consensual union.” 

Did I just say that? Fuck. I know mother probably knew, but I never told anyone.

“Loki I know you are a good man, but please don’t hurt Tom. I do still love him. Please don’t do any rash.”

 Rash?.. hum… I need for him to know what he has done. “Ok, Look I have an idea. What if I get into his dreams tonight and guilt him? I will let him know what he has done to you and give him a taste of his own medicine.”

Loki helped her to her feet.

“Ok, now we are going to go back through the party. I am going to get a drink and then I will take you back to your hotel.” Loki put his arm over her and she stopped him.

“Loki, wait, you have to change… you look like.. well you.”

He looked down at his armour and shrugged with a smile. He cast a spell and he was back to his boring suit. “Is this better?” He walked her out, trying to keep her the other direction from Tom.

________-

Saga’s point of view.

Loki held her hands as he stood in the doorway. He kissed her cheek and smiled. “Please don’t worry, I will fix this.”

“Ok, but nothing bad.” I want him to hurt him, but how? Loki is gone. She closed the door. She felt like crap. She dropped her dress on the floor and walked to the shower. She stood under the hot water for ages. Not really washing. Just trying to think.

I want Loki to hurt him, I want him to suffer. But how can I make Loki know? Does he know he can’t really destroy him?

I hate this, I love Tom so much! How could he do this? “Oh Loki! Please hear me… I want Tom to love me, to need me.. but most of all to understand what he did was wrong.”

She sobbed and it echoed in the shower. “Oh Tom!” she fell to her knees and her tears were hidden by the hot shower running over her.

__________-

Tom’s POV.

Walking back into my hotel room, alone. He put the statue down near the door as he dropped his wallet and phone. A pang of regret was in the back on his mind. He wasn’t clear on why. It was a great night. He smiled as he looked at his award. 

“And the award goes to… ‘Tom Hiddleston!’” Tom held out his hands and pretended to wave to his fans and colleagues. He stumbled over and landed on the couch. He took off his shoes and pulled at his bow tie. He slumped back on the couch. I think I’m going to end up sleeping here! He joked to himself.

He turned and then jumped at the sight.

Loki in full royal garb sat next to him, glaring at him. “Oh Mr. Hiddleston. Did you have a good night?” He stood up and then Tom uncoordinatedly stood. He looked around.

“Is this a joke?”

“No Joke.” Loki then watched as Tom darted to the bedroom. He re-appeared in front of him. “Where do you think you are going?” Loki shoved him to the bed.

What is this? Tom looked around. This guy, he looks like I did in Thor. “Who are you?”

“I am Loki. Don’t you recognise me?”

I must be dreaming. Or am I drunk? “What are you doing in my room?”

“I am your conscience. You have done something very wrong, and now you must pay.”

Tom struggled back on the bed. He looked around. “I must be dreaming.”

“You are. But that doesn’t mean this doesn’t feel very real.” Loki darted forward and grabbed a fistful of Tom’s hair. “Do you remember yet?”

What is he talking about? I have never done anything wrong, I don’t even have a speeding ticket! Wait… he’s Loki, as my conscience, it must have something to do with my movies..

“Loki, did I wrong someone I work with? Did I call Chris while I was drunk? I don’t remember. Are you trying to get me to remember?”

“No.” Loki released his grip and walked around. “I thought you were a nice man. So did she.” Loki walked to the end of the bed and stood with his arms folded.

I don’t know. I can’t remember. This is the weirdest dream I have ever had. ‘she’.. who is ‘she’? I’m not even dating anyone, not even the tabloids have me dating some random woman I have worked with.

Tom looked to the side and thought deeply. What have I done? She. She? 

“You are looking blankly Thomas. Let me help you. ‘She’ is someone you interact with tonight.” Loki was using all his strength to not use a fire spell on him, let alone punch him. The eyes burning through him gave him the realisation. Loki then saw he knew something. “Oh, you got it now?”

“Tonight. Did I meet a woman?”

“Yes. You could call it that.” Loki was seething.

Tom looked around for more thoughts to return. He stood slowly. A woman I met tonight? I met lots of women tonight. Loki conjured a spell to show an apparition of Saga with her camera before they met.

 The reporter. I remember reporter. She was into me. A fangirl. I’m sure I gave her… “I remember, it was the reporter. We had sex at the party. I must have been smashed. She is not that attractive. Recon she was only there cause of money. Defiantly not someone I would date. I have no idea why I would, it was strange. I had this feeling I should go to her.” Tom shook his head. 

He walked around the side of his bed and started to prepare for bed. He ignored Loki and poured a big glass of water and drank it. Then he refiled his glass and put it beside the bed. Preparing to minimise the hangover. Loki hated being ignored.

“Hey! Don’t walk away when I’m talking to you!”

“Look, ‘conscious Loki’, so you reminded me to not be so drunk that I fuck unattractive girls. Thanks. But this dream is now done and I’m going to bed.” Tom unbuttoned his shirt and continued to slowly strip.

This guy, man he looks exactly like me in Thor. This is defiantly the weirdest drunk conversation I had. He can’t be real, he is me. He said it himself. 

Tom continued to undress and sat on his bed in his boxers. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Tom, don’t you regret your actions?”

“Done? Yeah, I have regrets. I wish I sleep with my sexy Night Manager co-star. Man, I really got to lay off the booze!”

“You are a pig!”

Tom slumped back on his bed and smiled and shook his head. “Huh.. Loki as my conscious. That’s funny. I wonder if I will remember this in the morning.”

Loki couldn’t deal with this. He raised his head as if to say a prayer. “I’m sorry Saga, he’s not listening to reason. I’m going to do this my way.” Loki pulled off the covers and grabbed Tom by the ankle and dragged him down the bed.

“Hey! Let go!”

“No.” Loki flipped him over and threw his whole body weight on top of Tom. His armour pressing into Tom’s soft skin. Loki moved up to whisper in his ear. He grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his head back. “Is this what it was like for her?” 

Tom then felt his boxers be torn away. Loki tossed them on the floor and reached down under himself and ran his long fingers down through Tom’s ass checks till his pressed his perineum. Tom gasped as Loki pushed his digit against his hole. “Oh Thomas, did you do this to her?” Loki freed his fat cock and rubbed the head against Tom’s clenched hole. “Did you give her a warning or did you just fuck her dry?”

Tom panicked. “No, please don’t! I’m sorry!”

“I bet she begged you to stop too.” Loki then leaned down and menacingly exhaled. “but you didn’t…” with that he thrust deep in Tom’s tight hole to a scream of pain. Loki pushed up and began to pull Tom’s hips towards him as he thrust forward, amplifying his action. Tom struggled and fought under him, but Loki was too strong.

Loki could feel the natural lubricant starting to manifest, or was it blood? Loki didn’t care. He pushed himself deep. Tom was pulled back up onto his knees and would have collapsed if it weren’t for Loki holding him up.

Loki kept up his pace and rhythm. Tom panted as he couldn’t fight back any more. He glanced down between his legs to see his own body betray him. He cock, which was 7” uncut, was swollen and hard in response to the different sensation. He had never had his prostate stimulated before, let alone anal sex.

Tom cried as he felt himself approach orgasm. “No.. no.. this can’t be happening..” he sobbed. Loki kept thrusting and changed down to long slow and deep strokes. He saw Tom’s arousal and played on it.

“Oh, so you actually like men. When that is good for me.” Loki then smirked and decided to fuck with his mind. “well after all I am your sub-conscious, so you must secretly want a gay to fuck you, otherwise why would you be about to cum?” Loki knew it wouldn’t take much.

He thrust a few more times and Tom came hard. He had never cum so hard before. Loki let him go and he slump face first on the bed and cried. Loki put his hard cock away. 

What just happened? Did I want this? I don’t like this dream… I want to wake up. 

Loki held up his hand and cast a sleeping spell on Tom, who now drifted off into a restful sleep. Loki looked around at his conquest and realised he needed to fix a few things. He restored the boxers on the floor so the were no longer ripped and he conjured a dildo. He slipped it in Tom’s ass and then lay it next to him on the bed.

Loki smiled at his idea. “This way you will be confused and hopeful feel your actions towards Saga were some sort of fighting back against your homosexuality.” Loki was about to leave when he picked up Tom’s phone. He held his hand over it and the phone unlocked. He called Saga.

“Hello? Who is this?” She said, not recognising the number.

“Saga.” She recognised Loki’s voice. It was not much different from Tom’s. “It’s done. I have made him regret his actions. Don’t worry he wasn’t killed or beaten.”

“What did you do?” She hope it was bad and Loki knew she wanted him to suffer.

“I have put a few mental scars on him. Let’s just say he will be probably questioning his sexuality and think your rape was a last ditch effort at denial.” Loki then paused. 

“Wait, I have another idea.” Saga suggested. “Where is he now?”

“I have put him in a sleeping spell, so he thinks my integration was a dream.”

“Can you do something to him that will be bad but he won’t tell anyone?” she sounded a bit cruel and Loki picked up on it.

“Whatever you wish.” he waited excited for what she would suggest to torment him with.

“Can you make him wet his bed?” she said sheepishly but hopeful.

“Oh that’s easy.” Loki walked back to Tom and placed his hand on his head and brushed his hair from his forehead. He smiled as he heard the hissing sound of him empting his bladder. Loki couldn’t help himself and had to check it out. He put down the phone and rolled Tom onto his back. 

Tom’s penis flopped over and the uncontrolled stream spurted over his stomach then up in a little fountain. Soaking the bed. Loki exhaled in lust and pulled out his own cock and started to wank. He was so on edge. He kept stroking even after Tom stopped going. Loki bit his lip as he panted, concentrating on his goal. He fisted himself hard and then shot his load over the bed. Some landing on Tom’s spent penis.

Loki laughed and then licked his lips. He fixed his pants and then picked up the phone.

“Loki? Loki what is going on?”

“It’s done darling. I even got a kick out of that.”

“Loki.” she sounded like his mother when she knew he did something wrong, but she wasn’t going to punish him. He hung up the phone and put it back on the bedside. Loki then closed his eyes and teleported away.

_________-

Loki appeared in Saga’s hotel room. She sat up to see him at the foot of her bed. “Loki?”

“Hi Saga.” he walked over and magical away his armour and appeared in more comfortable clothes. He sat on the bed and took her hand. “Do you want me to keep you company? I can give you peaceful dreams.” Loki gave her a friendly hug.

She nuzzled his neck and returned the hug. She felt safe with him, like a father figure or a best friend. “Loki, when are you leaving?” she knew he would have to return to Asgard soon. She lost Tom she didn’t really want to lose Loki either.

“Soon, I will be back on Asgard in the morning. There is a storm coming, so I will mask my Bifrost travel with that.” he laid her down and began to spoon her. He pulled the sheets up over them. “Do you want Tom to love you?”

She paused and the felt bad. “I love him. If I could get him to want me… could you Loki?”

“He raped you, and to top it of… I don’t know if I should tell you this, but he was not at all nice about you as a person.” Loki kissed the back of her neck and held her close. “He is a misogynist asshole. I know you are blinded by love, but it’s one way. I don’t want you to feel like a domestic violence victim that thinks they have no where else to turn.” She turned over and faced Loki. She placed her hands on his cheeks.

“Do you think what you have don’t to him will get him to change?”

“Possibly.” He took her hands and smiled.

“Loki, slightly off topic…” she blushed. “Did you have sex with someone tonight? You are kind of glowing.”

“Yes, and no. I came earlier, truth is when you told me to find Tom and track him so we could get to the right party… well I watched him. I was curious as to what you were interested in. and I admit I liked watching him shower. And I may have had a wank over that.” Loki smirked.

“I knew it! So you got off on him!”

“I do prefer men. Sorry pet, but if I fuck you.. well it would feel like a chore and not at all pleasure. I prefer to only cum when I enjoy sex.”

“So. Did you rape Tom?”

“yes.” Loki softly admitted.

“Did you cum?” She kind of hoped Loki didn’t but wanted him to also enjoy torturing him.

“Well…” Loki hesitated. “I fucked him and I made him cum. And question his sexuality. He will remember this…” Loki then chuckled. “Oh and he wet the bed too.”

Saga tried to internalise her joy at his humiliation and tried to calm speak. “He pissed himself while you were fucking him?”

“No. He was already asleep. I made him wet the bed. But I’m sure it will be a nice shock when he wakes up as not only will he have a hangover and a weird ass dream, he put a vibrator next to him, and as far as he will know the fucking was self-inflicted.” Loki kissed her forehead.

“Thanks Loki. That was probably the best way of getting him back. So I wish I could see his face when he wakes up. Can you make that possible?” She gave him a coy look.

“Maybe. I think he will need some serious psychological help after this. Defiantly the sort of stuff he won’t want to tell family or friends.” Loki sighed. “Look the sun will be up soon. Have breakfast and I will get you there to see him. He should be up in a few hours.”

“Thanks, you’re the best!”

“But I have to leave for Asgard straight after.” she looked sad. But understood. “I will keep an eye on you from time to time. If you send me your whispers, I will hear them. I might not ever respond, but at least you know you can always vent your frustrations out.” Loki snuggled up close and went to close his eyes.

“Loki, why are you really helping me? I didn’t really warrant this many favours did I?” She traced his arm with her finger tips, biting her lip as she did.

“No, not really. But I’m not really a ‘good boy’ in Asgard. I kind of screwed up, so my mother stepped in when I was about to be executed and said I could atone by essentially doing a century of good. I would have to find a random person in the 9 who called for my help and answer their prays. Well to the extent of the laws that govern magic.” Loki shrugged. “It just so happened that you were kind of helping me when I misjudged this realm and nearly got killed. Wasn’t expecting to land in a two way shooting range.”

“Well, you’re ok now.”

 “Your people are going to blow yourselves off this rock if you keep going the way you are.” Loki rolled on to his back. “Please don’t. I do like this realm, you get my sick sense of humour here.”

“Hey, let me know when we are going, and I will get ready.” She snuggled up and closed her eyes. Loki put his arm around her and held her close.

___________-

It was nearly 9 and Loki was up and ready. He hesitated and woke Saga. “It’s time.

“Ok.” she got up and quickly got dressed. Loki took her hand and pulled her close. He closed his eyes and she felt a strange sensation wash over her. Like a tingle of lightning and the smell of ozone. She looked around and realised they had teleported to his hotel. They were in the stairwell.

“I didn’t want to try jump to his room as I’m not real accurate with a person in toe. Anyway…” he cast his invisibility spell. “That should help. Just be real quiet.” The walked out into the hall and down to Tom’s room. Loki put his hand on the lock and it opened. He kept hold of Saga’s hand and walked in quietly.

They made their way to the bedroom and saw Tom still sprawled out on the bed. The bed was soaked under him. His stomach had some cum still evident. Saga squeezed Loki’s hand as she saw the vibrator next to Tom. 

He started to stir. His hands first came up on his chest then he rolled over onto his side. He then realised the bed was cold and wet. He slowly sat up and then held himself. “Fuck!” he realised he wet the bed. “I wasn’t that drunk.. was I?” he held his head and then noticed the blood and shit on the inside his thighs and on the sheets.

Tom felt the pain and gently touched himself. He flinched at the pain. He then noticed the cum on his stomach. He could still feel the ache in his balls, he knew he had cum, but he also knew he had anal.

He looked around in panic and saw the vibrator next to him he moved back in shock. “No… no…” he panted and scrambled off the bed. He grabbed his head and felt nauseous. He then covered his mouth and then ran to the bathroom to be sick.

 

Tom’s POV.

Fuck! Oh hear it comes…. 

Tom threw up in the toilet. His forearms resting on the bowl, kneeling on the cold tile floor.

How did I get like this. My whole body aches. I want to just wake up. What happened? I’m sure I had sex, but my ass hurts like crazy. I hope I just had a bad shit. 

He held his stomach and threw up again. This time it was not really from being hung over, but more the realisation that something bad had happened. Loki and Saga stood near the door. Tom slowly stood and flushed the toilet. He stumbled over to the shower and turned it on. 

Tom began to sob as he saw the blood wash down his leg and down the drain. His soft echoes were the only sound. He slumped to the floor and began to cry more. Loki led Saga away.

“Time for us to go darling.” he whispered. 

Tom sat shaking in the shower. He slipped his fingers down and his ass still hurt as the water hit his fresh cuts. He tentatively touched his hole. He could tell he was stretched.

What happened? I remember that girl. She was at the after party. I remember.. my conscious. Loki came to me. I raped a girl… and he said I had to be punished. 

Tom slowly reached up and turned off the taps. He walked to his bed and saw the mess. He pulled off the sheets and saw the mattress was soaked too. 

What am I going to do? I haven’t wet my bed since I was little. 

He saw the vibrator now on the floor. Tom slowly picked it up. It had traces of blood on it. He dropped it into the sheets and his eyes filled with tears.

Why would I do that to myself? Was it punishment for what I did to her? Was my subconscious right? That I really am gay? 

Tom shook his head and grabbed the soiled linen and shoved it into a washing machine. He walked back to his bed and saw the glass of water there. He poured it onto the bed and then grabbed a towel to try scrub out some of the mess.

He went to the cupboard and found some cleaning powder and a scrubbing brush. He poured some on the mattress and then scrubbed again. He kept scrubbing till it foamed up. He was crying an distressing over what had happened. Trying to get rid of the stain on the mattress. He pulled the mattress from the bed and dragged it to the bathroom and reached into the shower and unhooked the shower.

He turned it on and washed off majority of the cleaning chemicals and the stain was mostly gone. He then turned on the heater to try dry it out. He stumbled back to his room and got dressed. He walked to the kitchen and skulled a shot of Johnny walker, rather than try and sober up. He paced around unsure of what to do.

His stomach hurt and cramped up. He felt ill, and now he had thrown up, he was starving. But he needed answers. He was so conflicted about what happened. Had he made himself cum with that dildo? Or had there be someone else there? He looked around for his phone and found it in his bedroom.

He opened it and saw there was a call made. He didn’t recognise the number, nor was it programed in. he looked at the time made it was about 2 in the morning. He didn’t remember making a call. 

Who did I call at 2? And talk to for a few minutes. I wonder if it was a food place. Looks like a mobile number thou. Oh, I wonder if this was a person who … shit, could it be the person that gave me anal?

Tom held his phone and stared at it. He wanted to call but he was petrified. He exhaled nervously and pressed return call. He held it to his ear with fear of who would answer. 

Connection. “Um hello? Saga speaking.” 

“Fuck!” Tom panicked and hung up. “Saga. That was the name of the girl Loki…. No no my conscious said. I knew her name. Loki is not real.”

Tom tossed his phone onto the couch and held his hands to his head, panicking on what to do. “Fuck, shit, Fuuuuuccck!” He quickly got dressed in his running gear and grabbed his back pack and phone. As he walked down the hall to the elevator his started searching for apps.

What have I done? I hurt this girl then I must have called her and taunted her at 2 in the morning. This is not like me! Maybe that’s why my conscious came to me as Loki, cause I needed someone I could believe would show me how bad I was. 

Did he just use some sort of acting technique to put myself in her position, and have Loki hurt me.. as I hurt her. Crap. 

Tom tapped his phone as he continued to search. He wasn’t focused on the two other people in the lift, one of which seemed to recognise him and was whispering to their friend.

Tom put his headphones as he became aware of them. He didn’t look at them. He didn’t turn on his music. Just pretended to. He didn’t want to talk to anyone.

I need to find her and apologise. What happens if she goes to the police? I’m proper fucked if she does. Maybe she won’t report it. A lot of rape victims wouldn’t report it.

Tom tried to justify to himself.

Maybe she just took it as rough sex. Yeah. As a fan, she would have wanted me. I have never done anything like that before. Never to any sexual partner. She was a one off. 

He found something on his phone and clicked an app and began to install it.

Why? Why did I act so out of character? I would never hurt someone like that. Am I gay? In denial? No I can’t be. I have never been aroused over a man before. I’ve kissed a man in plays… still. I need to see her. At least to confirm what I did was not meant to hurt her. Ah, this app will track her phone. She is not too far from here.

Tom stepped out of the lift and briskly moved through the lobby. And started jogging down the road in the direction of her phone signal.

_________-

Saga’s POV.

Bye Loki! 

She waved to the sky.

I’m gunna miss him. What a  mess I am in. Tom… I thought him to be such a gentleman. Why would he hurt me? I hate that he didn’t kiss me. He just treated me like a whore. But I didn’t get paid. Or maybe he thought my payment was to ‘bask in his glory’. Asshole.

Saga looked up to hear her phone ringing. She picked it up. “Um hello? Saga speaking.”

“Fuck!” click.

“What? Oh. That sounded like… Tom.” She gasped and her chest tightened. “Tom. Why would he call? Loki said he said not nice things about me, maybe he wanted to drive the knife in further?”

She wiped the tears from her eyes and went to her bed and hugged her pillow tightly. “Oh Loki, why is he tormenting me?” she then thought, ‘how did he get my number?’.

I’m not going to let him hurt me. 

Saga got up and began to pack her things. She didn’t have much, just a small backpack, camera bag. Loki had transported her halfway across the world, so she didn’t have but a few days clothes. She hurried down stairs and checked out a day early and hurried out to the street. She looked around for a bus stop.

Saga grabbed her bags and headed down the street towards the main part of town. She knew there would be some sort of bus to the airport. She felt her chest tighten as her anxiety grew. She got to the closet bus stop and looked at the time table. 30 mins till the airport express. She sighed  with a bit of relief. 

Saga didn’t realise she was directly in front of a police station. She looked up and saw a lot of uniformed police walking around and thought it might have been cause of the Emmy’s.

_________-

Tom’s POV

She is a few kilometres from here.

He looked down at his phone. He stopped and enlarged the image and the details of the street names and key business came up around her pin. Tom felt his chest tighten when he saw she was at the police station.

“Shit.” What am I going to do now? I don’t want to be arrested for rape!

Tom stopped and looked back towards his hotel and then up the road in the direction of where she was.

If I go there, she will see me and have me arrested. Where can I go? I’ll have to head back and check out of my hotel. I need to get to her as soon as she leave the police station. Maybe she will head back to her hotel and I can see her and get her to drop the charges.

I have to get back and get cleaned up.

Tom ran back his hotel and frustrated pressed the button for the elevator. “Come on, come on!” he punched the button with the meat of his hand.

A fan loudly shouted out. “Tom! Tom! Can I get your autograph?” They were in his face. He bared his teeth, then realised he should be magnanimous. He did his nervous laugh, looking down then back up. 

“Sure!” he pulled out his headphones and nodded politely. The lift opened and he darted in and waved to the fans. As the door closed his face dropped. His phone rang. It was his mother.

“Hi.”

“Tom? You sound depressed. Are you ok?”

“Ok yeah, fine, just a bit hung over.” he lied and tried to sound positive. He couldn’t talk to her about his dream or the resulting bed wetting. He swallowed hard.

“Ok, did you want me to call back? You sound puffed.”

“I just went for a run.” He got back to his room. He went in and looked around. “Look mum, I’ve got to go.”

“Love you darling.”

He put his phone on the counter. He looked around the room and saw his sheets were done. He shoved them in the dryer. He walked into the bedroom and dragged the mattress back onto the bed. It wasn’t really that dry, but at least there was no obvious stain. He flipped it over.

He started to pack his bags and had a quick shower. He got changed into nice slacks and a collared shirt. He moved his bags to the front door and went back to the dryer. Still going. He sighed and grabbed his phone and sat down. He looked back at the app and she was no longer at the police station.

That was quick. I hope she had second thoughts and didn’t report him. He looked down at the phone, watching her pin move down the road. He put his phone away and folded his arms. He watched the dryer till it was done.

He fell asleep in the couch.

There was a knock at the door that woke him. He sat up startled. He looked at the door and froze. The banging came again. Tom panicked. Was it the police? 

“Fuck!” he said under his breath. He looked around for an exit.

“Mr. Hiddleston?”

He paused and tried to think of what he needed to say.

“Mr. Hiddleston? Room service.”

Oh, thank god! He put his hand on his chest and went to the door before it opened. “Oh thanks, I’m fine. You can come back tomorrow.” he smiled and closed the door.

He walked back in relief. He nearly wet himself in shock. He grabbed the sheets from the dryer and made the bed. He saw the dildo on the floor. He hesitated to pick it up. What was he going to do with it. He couldn’t throw It out. He took it to the bathroom and washed it under hot water. 

He cringed at the mess that was coming off. He felt bad as it came from him. He vaguely remembered being fucked, but didn’t know it was self-inflicted. He started to feel pain in his ass as he remembered.

“Fuck…” he dropped it into the sink and started to cry. “What’s wrong with me?” He tried to stabilise himself on the basin and glanced up at the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and tears blurring his vision. He wiped his face. He gasped and tried to compose himself. He shook his head as he sobbed.

“This can be happening. I don’t understand!” he then punched the mirror. He stumbled back and looked at his bloodied hand. He wrapped it in a towel and slumped down onto the floor. 

He ran his non injured hand through his hair and tried to calm himself. He wiped his tears and runny nose on the towel. 

________-

Saga got to the airport and dragged herself over to the counter. She bought her ticket. She would have a few hours to wait. She decided not to let him get to her. She turned her phone to airplane mode then off completely.

She sat quietly and looked over at a TV in the terminal. It was playing clips from the Emmy’s. she shuddered as a clip from Tom came up. She turned away from the screen. She didn’t want to deal with this. She reached into her bag looking for her laptop. She felt something weird. Crinkling. She pulled out a parcel. It was a gift. Wrapped in pick paper and a note was stuck on the front. She pulled off the note and read it. 

“Dear Saga, I know you can’t be will me, but I hope you can hug this in the absence of my superior comfort hugs! Love Loki.”

She smiled and put the note back in her bag. She opened the packet. It was a 30 centimetre plush Loki doll. She hugged it and whispered. “Thanks Loki.”

_________-

It was a hour before Tom could remotely compose himself. He was still upset. He saw the bleeding had stopped and then went to the medicine cabinet to tape up his hand. He scooped up the glass with the bloody towel and tossed it in the bin. He picked up the dildo and wrapped it in a towel and put it in the bottom of his bag. 

He was satisfied all his things were packed and no evidence of last night seemed to be around. He called for his driver to collect his things. He needed to get out of here. A quick dash back London. He made his way to the airport. The whole way he was nervously tapping his leg. He hated how he was feeling.

Tom didn’t know how he could fix the situation. He slowly walked up to the airline counter and booked a flight. He was able to check his bags. He took a small pack with his Emmy in it as carry on. He slowly made his way through the terminal to where his gate would be. He noticed his shoelace was untied and stopped to fix it. He glanced up to see someone familiar in the distance.

It was Saga. She was passing through security. He saw her carrying a small back pack and a Loki doll under her arm. He saw she was already through security and the line was ridiculously long. He looked concerned as he headed that way.

He kept focus on her and not the people in the queue, slowly shovelling forward. He slipped his headphones in so he didn’t have to talk to anyone. She was now clear of security and heading to her gate. Tom looked down at his phone and there was no pin for her. Just a warning that her phone was off.

He exhaled uneasy and bit his lip. He didn’t notice he was now towards the front and a security guard was asking him to take off his shoes and put his bag on the x-ray.

He snapped out of his daze and began to comply. The guard noticed how heavy it was and asked Tom to open it before the scan. He blushed as he took out his award and people around them gasped. 

The guard was not really impressed. “Sir, that can’t go on the flight, it is a dangerous object.”

Another guard came over. “Are you crazy? This is Loki! Man, I love your movies!”

“Oh. Thanks.” Tom tried to down play it. The guard waived him through and he passed through the x-ray. Tom looked around for where Saga went. He headed briskly in the last direction he saw her walk.

He found himself all the way at the end of the concourse. He hadn’t seen her. He looked around then realised he would need to head to his own gate. He made his way back towards the security, still keeping an eye out for her.

He then spotted her. She was showing her ticket and boarding her flight. He looked up to see where she was going. He frowned. “Australia. Fuck!” he whispered. “That’s the other side of the world.”

Tom shook his head and went to his gate. He knew now where she was going but was hesitant to follow.

_________-

Loki landed in London. He needed to reline Tom. It had been two days since he fled to his home and kept himself cut off from anyone. 

Loki made his way through the apartment. It was night, passed midnight. He stood at the base of the bed, invisible.  Tom was stirring. He was not sleeping well. Something was making him restless. Loki smiled as he knew Tom was dreaming about him and what he did to Saga.

Tom woke suddenly. “Oh no.. no no no..” he sobbed and looked down. He was wetting the bed. It was pointless him trying to make it to the bathroom. He sat and sobbed for a bit. Tom then slowly got up and stripped the bed. With shaking hands he dragged the bedding to the laundry and stripped off his clothes.

Loki smirked and disappeared.

________-

Saga had been home now for a couple of days. She carried around her Loki doll into the lounge and gave it a big hug. “Oh Loki. I hope you are well on Asgard. I’m fine. I miss you.” she kissed the doll and prepared to watch a movie.

She heard her phone ring. She looked puzzled. She wasn’t expecting a call. She didn’t even look at the number. If she did she would see it was from the UK.

“Hello? Saga speaking.” She heard the STD beeps of a long distance call. “Hello?”

“Saga?” a man’s voice. Clearly distressed.

“Yes, that’s me.” She couldn’t quiet hear the voice, not recognise it.

“It’s Tom…” He gasped.

She froze. Tom, why would he call? She paused for the long time. “Tom.. Hiddleston” She gritted her teeth. She knew he was influential and she was just a door mouse in comparison. But this door mouse was ready to strike even against a tiger. “What do you want?” she gruffly said.

“Please…” he sounded broken. “Please I’m sorry. I’m… s..” all she heard was the sound of him sobbing. She couldn’t make out anything else. She felt bad. 

“Tom, you hurt me. I don’t know why you are even contacting me. Why would think I would want to speak to you after what you did to me?”

“I’m sorry, please… I don’t know what happened. I need to talk to you.. please.” Tom was sitting on the floor in his bathroom. It was 2 in the morning where he was.

“I don’t really want to talk to you. I thought you were a nice guy. But now I see you are just like any other bully.” she pulled her Loki doll in close. “incidentally, why are you calling me? Isn’t it like midnight were you are?”

“I can’t talk to anyone else, please understand. I…” Tom stopped and she heard his faint sobs. “Please, tell me.. what did the police say? Are you pressing charges?”

“What? I haven’t spoken to anyone on earth about what happened.” she narrowed her eyes. “Is that why you are stalking me? You are worried about your career? Your image?” she grew stronger in her anger. “Well no deal mister! Your problems are for you to sort out. They have nothing to do with me.”

Tom held his knees close to his chest. He shivered a bit now that his wet clothes started to cool. “Saga. Have been having problems since that night. I .. “ He needed to talk to her. “every night at about the same time… I wake up..” he then wiped his face. He exhaled as he admitted is problem to her. “I .. I have been wetting the bed.”

She felt sorry for him but he hurt her and Loki would not want her to cave until he had truly suffered.” Your guilt calling me is not going to grant you forgiveness. You will suffer till I say. And I hope I don’t have to see you again ever.”

“please…” he begged. “I can’t deal with this!”

She hung up on him. Tom sad alone in the bathroom. He buried his face in his folded arms and held his knees to his chest. “I’m sorry….”

________--

Saga sat frustrated with her arms folded. She looked down at her phone and brought up the number he called from. Her finger hovered over the delete button. Instead she pressed save and added his details. Mostly so she would know if he called her again.

_________-

It had been nearly a week since he had called her. She didn’t want to forget, but she was beginning to relax a bit. The fact that Loki healed her, meant she wouldn’t have had any evidence to even take to police. Not that she really wanted to. 

She called the pizza place and decided to have a nice high calorie pick me up. She felt better and drove off to the shop. She took her doll with her in her satchel. It was as if she could feel Loki’s presence. He had enchanted the doll to radiate positive thoughts to her, especially while she slept. He didn’t want her to be scared of Tom.

The thunder rumbled and she looked up with a smile. “Loki? What are you up to?” she joked. Saga returned from the shops with her pizza and placed it down on the coffee table. She flicked on the TV. She cracked a bottle of lemonade and chugged some down. There was a knock at her door. She grabbed  a slice of pizza and went to the door. She seemed content till she opened it.

“Thomas..” she said narrowing her eyes. She went to slam the door in his face.

“Please!” he begged as he put hand up to stop the door.

“What are you doing here?” She let him talk. He was distraught. She could tell he had been crying. She saw he had a bag with him. He didn’t respond. “Tom. Come in.” She begrudgingly moved aside and he stepped in cautiously.

He wiped his nose and sniffed. He didn’t want to make eye contact. She exhaled her contempt and walked back to the lounge. Tom followed her him. She sat down next to Loki and Tom sat opposite. She ignored him for the most part, starting her TV shows.

Tom wanted to talk but didn’t know how to start. She had no intention of helping him star a conversation. He needed to work for it. 

It was about 30 minutes before he finally uttered something.

“Saga. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what happened. I was drunk.” He then shifted forward more confident. “I know that is not an excuse.” She turned off the TV and gave him her full attention. He was unsettled and sat back as she moved forward, asserting her dominance. Showing even though she is a victim, she didn’t have to be afraid.

“No it isn’t.” She decided to taunt him, she knew some of what Loki had shared. “So you are having a hard time coping. What in particular is your concern? And mostly why do you think I can fix it?”

“I don’t know.” he wiped a newly forming tear.

“Don’t know what the concern is or how I can fix it?”

“Both. I just feel… it’s like my consciousness it telling me to go to you, that I can only be whole again if I help you and thus understand what I did.” Tom needed to quantify his problems.

“Look, it’s getting late.” she looked at her watch. It was only 9 pm. She didn’t want to deal with this. She stood up and grabbed her Loki doll.

“That’s a nice doll. Who gave it to you?” he was surprised that she would keep a toy that represented him so close.

“Not your concern.” she put her doll in her bed and then returned to the lounge. She huft as she knew it was the right thing to help him and Loki would have probably got something to do with him being here. “I have a one bedroom apartment. Now you can be adult about this and sleep on the couch or you go stay in a hotel down the road.”

Tom smiled slightly that she let him stay in the same house. “The couch is fine.” he stood up and shyly approach her as she quickly turned back to her room and closed the door. He knocked slightly. “Saga?”

“What now Thomas?” she opened the door and he was nervously fighting with his hands. She could see a tear roll down his cheek.

“Saga. Um…I..”

“What?” she did not speak calmly and it startled him. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t. he stepped back and turned away as he wiped his tears. She groaned. “What? If you don’t talk to me then what am I supposed to do?” She grabbed his arm and he turned towards her.

“Please…” he couldn’t make eye contact. She knew what he wanted but she wanted to make him say it. “can I have some towels or something?”

“What? Bedding? Oh I’ll get you a pillow and a blanket.” she pushed passed him and grabbed one out of the linin cupboard and put them on the couch.

“No.. um…” he shied away. She knew he was not going to ask. She had been to firm with him.

“Let me guess, you need a nappy?” she kept the taunt inside as she sounded calm outside.

Tom folded his arms and denied it. “No. I’m not a baby…I…”

“If you wet your bed and you want me to get you something to stop it, you will wear a nappy. I will not have you pissing on my couch. Its either that or you sleep in the bathroom and it will be easy to hose down your mess afterwards.” she couldn’t hold back, she wanted to break him.

Tom couldn’t admit it and walked away. He didn’t know what to do. “I can’t help it ok?!” he yelled. 

She was a bit taken back.

“Ever since that night, I have.. I don’t know why. I hate it! I can’t tell anyone, I can’t go to the doctors, I can’t tell my parents… I’m scared and I don’t know what is wrong with me!” She relaxed and walked over to him. 

“Ok Tom, I didn’t mean to be so harsh. Look, I will help you. I will get you some towels to put under yourself. But go to the toilet before bed and I will try to wake you in the night.” she placed her hand on his shoulder and reassured him.

He nodded. She reached up and gently wiped the tears from his cheek. Saga went back to the bedroom and was digging through some boxes. Tom stood behind her a bit less nervous. She stopped and pushed back then looked up at him. “Tom, I didn’t think I had any but…” she stood up holding something. “If you want to know you won’t wet the bed, you can wear a nappy and bed will still be dry.”

He swallowed ashamed as she handed him the adult diaper. Many questions swirled through his head. “Um…”

“Ok, look. I know you have things you want to know. I will say some things, they may be the answers to the questions you do not want to ask, for some reason or another.” She placed her hand on his. “Ok, I have adult diapers cause I like ADBL and age play fetish. I think you should consider this is this is an ongoing problem and you don’t want to have to wash your sheets and ruin your mattress.” she then looked him in the eyes. “And yes, I said sleep in a bed. If you wear the nappy, I will let you stay in my bed.”

He was confused but relived she asked and answered what he wanted to know. But there was still one question he needed to confirm. “Um.. does this mean you like me?”

“Oh Thomas. I have never stopped liking you. I may have gotten angry and not understood why you acted the way you did… yes I want answers. But for now, let’s just take this slowly. Now it may seem like a silly question.. but do you need a hand or do you think you can put that on by yourself?” she pointed to the nappy.

Tom blushed. “Um… I think I will do it.” he slowly walked to the bathroom and closed the door. He pulled down his pants. And stripped off. He stood naked in front of the mirror. He opened the nappy and held it between his legs. He pulled the tabs across and fixed it around his waist. He then stood back and saw himself. He felt strange. He looked down at the diaper and put his hand on the front and tried to feel how it sat. he gave himself a squeeze and worried about how effective it would be.

He heard a soft rapping on the door. “Thomas? Are you ok?”

“Um.. I don’t know about this.” He peered around the door.

“I brought you your bag, um… so you can put some bed clothes on.” She passed the bag through the door. Tom pulled out some track pants and a t-shirt. He came out with his bag in hand.

She glanced down and you couldn’t really tell he was wearing a nappy. He sheepishly walked behind her as she lead him to the bedroom. He put his bag down and she climbed in her side and lay on her side away from him. Tom hesitated. He moved over and felt a bit awkward. He felt the nappy rubbing and it wasn’t bad. Unusual, kind of stimulating.

He pulled back the covers. It was a double bed, he unfortunately had to be close to her. He knew this must be just as confusing for her as for him. He didn’t want to touch her or get too close. It was hard to lie near her.

“Saga, what happens if I wet the bed?”

“You won’t. Just go to the toilet now and come back to bed.” She rolled over and he saw she was holding her doll.

“if you don’t mind me asking… if you don’t like me, why do you hold that doll so close?” Tom did see Loki as a personification of himself sometimes, and knew some fans did take his role of Loki as real.

“He is special to me. Tom, I do still hold you in high regard.” she lowered her gaze and then rolled away. “I don’t really want to get into it now. Please just go to sleep.”

Tom nodded and rolled to face away from her. He lay there for a while, worried about this whole thing.

_________-

Saga stirred as she felt movement in the bed. She kept her eyes closed as she responded. “Tom.. go to sleep.”

He was asleep and he was just tossing and turning. She tried to get to comfortable. She never shared her bed before and liked to lay in the centre of her bed. Company, even welcome company is hard to give up her space. She liked to roll around. She found herself moving towards him. 

She went back to sleep eventually only to be woken a few hours later to Tom grabbing himself and suddenly sitting up. “Fuck.” he held the front of his pants as he felt himself pissing. Saga sat up and turned on the bedside light. She looked over to him. He was panicking.

“Tom?” she focused and saw he was holding himself. She placed her hand on his back and rubbed him reassuringly. “Hey, its ok. See its not leaking.”

“It.. my pants are dry?” he seemed surprised. He checked himself. She smiled and patted his back.

“now go back to sleep. It’s not as bad as you thought.” she seam kinder. She wiped the tear from his cheek. “Tom.” she held his cheek and directed him to look at her. “Tom, it’s ok.”

He nodded and placed his hand on hers. He lay back down and she watched him face away from her. She sighed as she saw how stressed he was. She moved up behind him and spooned him. He flinched at first, then let her slip her arms around him. He felt calm for some reason.

___________-

Tom woke and she was not in bed. He felt better but now felt how swollen his nappy was. He got up and held the front of his pants. Checking to see if he was ok. “they worked? My pants are dry.” Tom spoke to himself. He pulled open the waistband to peer down and see what was going on. He slipped a hand down to feel the front.

Saga walked in and raised her eyebrow. “So are you hard?” she sort of taunted.

Tom retracted and stepped back. He then tried to seem like he wasn’t doing anything wrong and raised his head, still didn’t make eye contact. “I’m fine. Nothing to worry yourself about.”

“Right. Well if you want to stay here you play by my rules.”

“Rules?” Tom scoffed. “you have no power over me.” 

She couldn’t believe he would say that. “No power huh? Kind of like how you reminded me of that at the after party?” 

He shook his head. “No.. I didn’t mean that.. I..” his eyes welled up.

She knew he was already broken from what Loki did to him. “Look, come get cleaned up. Slip out of that wet diaper and I’ll get you a fresh one.” she put her hand on his back and directed him to the bed. He sat down, he didn’t know why.

“What do I do?” 

“Just lay back.” he complied, it was like he had no choice, but it wasn’t against his will. He felt she was in control. She gently placed her hands on his hips. “raise up your knees.” she pulled his track pants and slowly pulled them down. She pulled his pants off and he didn’t know where to look or put his hands.

He clenched his hands together on his chest as she placed her hand on his knee. “Lower your legs slightly, I need to undo your nappy.” she paused. “Have you finished going?”

“huh?” he looked away.

“Tom, I want you to fully empty your bladder.” she placed her hand on his and squeezed gently. “It’s ok, your nappy wont leak. Just do a little wee for me.”

Tom did feel like he would like to go. He shook his head and a tear rolled down his cheek. She cupped his cheek and stroked his forehead. “I cant.”

“Ok.” She took his hand and directed him to stand up. “Come on.” he wiped his face and let her lead him out of the bedroom. She stood near the bathroom door. “You go to the toilet and have a shower. I will get some clothes for you. When you come out, I will get you a nice hearty breakfast.”

He sniffed and nodded. “Ok.” he stepped in and she closed the door. He walked slowly over to the toilet and looked down at himself. His diaper was swollen and a little heavy. He took an uneasy breath. He went to undo the tabs and then stopped. He stepped into the shower and cupped both of his hands on the front and took a nervous breath and then began to urinate.

He felt the warm fluid quickly spread around and run along the edges. He slipped his hand down to see if he could feel anything. The inside of his thighs were still dry. He pushed down a little harder and felt the piss now traveling up to his waistband. He stood upright and put his thumbs into the front and pulled out slightly to spectate. He saw the fluid move around his lower abdomen and then get drawn away.

He sat down in the shower and slowly undo the tabs. He opened the front and looked down at the soiled nappy. His penis twitched at the sight and he slipped his hand down to hold himself. He then let the front of the nappy fall completely open and he pushed down hard inside. He squired a bit of piss in a little fountain on the nappy.

He giggled at how it felt. This wasn’t as bad as he thought. The remembered why she had the adult diapers in the first place. She said she liked infantilism. He heard a knock at the door.

“Tom, I have left your bag at the door so you can pick out some clothes. I’m just going to make breakfast now. Be about 10 mins.. ok?”

He felt a bit better. “Yes, ok.. thanks.” For some reason he refastened his nappy and stood up. He went to the door and peered down the hall, she was gone. He reached down and grabbed his bag.

He squatted down and was about to open his bag. He looked down between his legs at the wet bulge. He smiled as he slid his hand down and gave himself a bit of a squeeze. He then returned to his bag and pulled out a change of clothes. He then found the vibrator. He swallowed hard and tentatively pulled it out. He turned the dial on the bottom.

It sent a smooth pulse through his hand and he smiled. He put it back in his bag and then thought. ‘well its lucky she just handed me my bag, rather than find clothes for me. She would have found this. Huh.. but she like ABDL… so we both seem to have sex secrets.’

He stood up and found his movement in the wet nappy was beginning to have an unexpected affect. He was getting aroused. He looked down and held himself through the front and felt it get harder. He stopped and was unsure of this feeling. He slipped his hand down the front and felt like he doing something naughty. He bit his lip. He stroked himself firmly.

He moaned softly as he then sat back on the floor and opened a one side. He freed his erection and gripped it tight. He panted as he continued to stroke himself. He didn’t know why this was a turn on. He was getting close to cumming. He hadn’t cum since that night. This was going to be big. His hand shook as the smell of piss amplified how wrong this was. He had flash backs to being a teenaged and batting off to the first nudie mag he found. Hoping that he didn’t get caught kind of added to the arousal.

“Tom?” a knock at the door. He froze. “Look, I know this is weird but if you want, I can sleep on the couch tonight so you don’t feel pressure of having to walk on egg shells around me.”

“Um.. no..its ok.” his voice squeaked.

“I’m sorry if I kind of put you on the spot with the whole nappy thing, I didn’t even really ask if you were comfortable with that.. stuff..” she couldn’t really talk, she was embarrassed now.

“No, it’s totally fine. I mean it’s not usual, but I mean.. there wouldn’t be a market for adult diapers if they weren’t meant to be used, hey?” he suggested. He then looked down and realised wanking in a soiled nappy that he intentionally used, was not really in the manufactures mind on list of uses.

She poked her hand through the door. Tom shook in fear as it wasn’t locked and he was sitting in the floor like some sort of pervert. She dropped a plastic bag through the door and then closed it without coming in. “Just put your dirty nappy in this and I will toss it for you.”

“Oo ok.” he stuttered in relief. Saga seemed content and left. Tom wondered if he should respond to his aching cock. He really wanted to cum, but now he knew the door didn’t lock and how much his voice echoed… it would have to be done when she wasn’t here. But it would have to be soon. Tom slipped of the nappy and put it in the bag. He tried to have a cold shower to suppress his urges. It worked for the most part and he no longer was erect.

He dried off and then quickly dressed. He put his bag back in the bedroom and brought the nappy bag into the kitchen. Saga took it from him and tossed it in the bin. “Grub’s up.” she directed him to the table. He saw juice, toast, bacon eggs, beans, spinach and avocado covered in sweet chilli sauce. It smelt good and he realised his last meal was the food he picked at on the airplane.

He started to eat and she sat down and had no food in front of her. “You’re not eating?” he pointed with his fork and he realised he was shovelling his food in.

“I have already eaten. So Thomas. There are a lot of questions I’m sure we both have for each other. I will start with one.” She decided to dive right in. “Why did you rape me? And let me be clear, I may have been a devoted fan, who dreamt of nothing less than to be in your company… but as soon as you forced yourself on me and didn’t let me go, well it was rape.”

Tom swallowed hard. He didn’t have an answer. “Truth is, I have never done that, to anyone before… not even as a character in a play. I know I was drunk. But I’m still good at keeping my wits about me.”

He put down his fork. “You said you felt compelled or something?”

“I don’t know. It was like I had to be near you, then it became something more primal. I have never felt like that. It’s like I was someone else, like I was ..’ he then sort of laughed. “Like Loki was using his mind staff on me.”

She paused and hope Loki didn’t do anything like that when she wasn’t looking. “But I’m pretty sure, even if you are drunk or on drugs, you still have those actions in you. It is still you, just your inhibitions are lowered… sometimes below what a normal law abiding citizen would do.”

He nodded. “Yes. It was me, and I don’t mean to sound shit, but I know what ever I did, even though it was a first, I know I enjoyed hurting you. That is the part I don’t understand.” he folded his arms. “I don’t know what made me want to even call you after I did it. I didn’t remember calling you. I remember what I did at the party, but I don’t remember the conversation at 2 in the morning.”

“The call?” She realised Loki was using Tom’s phone to talk to her when he was tormenting Thomas. “Oh, yeah.” She then thought back about what Tom said to Loki about her. “I don’t remember much, I was pretty messed up. I do recall something about ‘not attractive and defiantly not dateable.. “ Tom remembered those words to Loki… had that been hem actually calling her? “Oh any something about you were hoping to fuck your glamour co-star.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“You did. You wouldn’t have looked twice at me.” she couldn’t let up about Loki helping her. “Ok, you ask something, as I don’t think I would get an answer yet about why.”

Tom sat and ate a bit more. She poured herself another juice and held her doll close to her, like nursing a baby. 

He quietly ate, with all the thoughts running through his head. He had so many things he wanted to know.

It was about 10 minutes of silence and he sat back and she took his plate. He sat still but not frozen for a few minutes. Then she looked away for a second. “Saga, why were you at the party? I mean, I thought you were some billionaire’s daughter who was only there cause of money. Now I see your simple life, I know that is not true.”

“True I was there on someone else ticket. I was fortunate that I helped someone out and it turns out their ability to return favours was bigger than I thought capable. He felt he needed to help and decided that it was a sufficient gift.”

“What did you do?” he was surprised by the humanitarian in her.

“I saved his life. He ended up in a warzone cross fire. I didn’t know who he was. He was just thankful and had the means to do so extravagantly. I told him what happened at the party, and he felt bad that my dream didn’t come true. He wanted to repay me some other way, but I said no.”

She looked down at her doll and smiled.

“He gave you the doll huh?”

“Yes.”

Tom had more questions. “So you came to the party to see me, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” 

“why did you let me come stay here? I mean even in your own bed?”

“Yes that is weird. The one man who destroyed my heart… look, you seemed to have a lot of regret over what you did. I know you are genuinely sorry, and it was a one off. I know you would never do that again. It was still shit. But I just couldn’t see you suffer any more.”

Tom held back the tears. He was uncomfortable and swallowed hard. “I think I should say thanks.. but it’s not really the right words.”

“It’s not, but I get the sentiment. Tom, so you have been having nightmares every night since as a result?”

“Yes. They are so real, but it’s the same dream, and I want it to stop. But I cant.”

“What is your dream?” She was curious of what Loki had done.

“It’s like I’m in your body, and someone is doing to me what I did to you.. but it’s like is still me.” She knew what he meant but she wanted him to say it.

“No not really. So you were me at the party?”

“No I was in my hotel, I was asleep in bed and there was someone in my room.”

She knew who that was. “Another person? Was it me?”

“No… it was Loki.” Tom felt weird telling someone. “And he hurt me. Like I hurt you.” he said softly. She could tell he was unsettled but she pressed anyway.

“You dreamed you were raped by Loki.” she made it sound trivial. 

“It felt real.” he started to cry. “But the worst part was ..” he couldn’t believe he was telling her. “I must have liked it.”

“So you liked being fucked. You played Loki for years, you can’t help but personify yourself as him. You can do things in dreams.. even day dreams, that are not what you have done in life.” she shrugged. “And this is your nightmare? You must be leaving something out… wait, you wet the bed when you have sex? Or cause you are scared of him?”

“I don’t know!” Tom cried. “He hurt me and I thought it was real, and when I woke up I found I must have been drunk and I had been fucking myself with a vibrator and wet the bed.”

“In the dream? Wait.. I don’t understand.” Saga was a bit confused, but she knew what Loki did.

“No I must subconsciously like men, and I was playing with myself and I gave myself anal… and I came. I have never cum so hard in my life. But I don’t remember doing any of that. I was dreaming that I was being fuck by Loki..” Tom hated this feelings inside.

“Tom, just cause you like anal, doesn’t make you gay.” she suggested.

“Huh? But I must be. I mean, I got hard and came cause of what he did..” Tom wiped his eyes but the tears flowed freely. 

“You wet your bed cause you were scared and confused about your sexuality. Like you only did what you did to me cause you were trying to be over heterosexual.” she saw this was upsetting. “Tom, please stop crying. Look we don’t have to talk about this anymore.” she walked over and placed her hand on his shoulder. He immediately turned towards her and hugged her. He cried and cried into her chest.

She held his head and stroked his head. “Shh, there, there. Its ok.”

“I just want it to stop.”

“It will get better in time. Just give it time.”

 


End file.
